Immune India: The Home of the Healthiest children in the world

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Once upon a time, in a far off land lay two kingdoms, Motuland and Size zero. “Fat is beautiful” was the philosophy of one, whereas the other believed in “Less is more”.
They co-existed for many years, until a problem arose; the children of Motuland had grown so fat that:

They had to be wheeled from one place to another.

Their legs had to be massaged if they walked for over 5 minutes.

They would have to be fed constantly otherwise they would faint and cause tremors all over the kingdom.

They were given prickly gunny bags as clothing because nothing would fit them.

They could not participate in sports.

Basically, they were the sorriest bunch of children you would have ever seen.

On the other hand, the children of Size Zero were:

So thin that parents had to use magnifying glasses to hunt for them.

So lethargic that they couldn’t be bothered to go to school.

So weak that they could barely stand.

So undernourished that they would fall ill frequently.

Basically, they too, were the sorriest bunch of children you would have ever seen.

A meeting was called; the town crier announced

“Suno Suno Suno

Raja Gol As Aloo aur Rani Meethi Gulabjamun

Kal, 12 baje Raja Mooli SaPatla aur Rani Sexy Celery se milne Size Zero mein ja rahe hain

Ve wahan hamare bachon ki taklifon ke bare mein charcha karenge

Suno Suno Suno…”

The day was beautiful, and every once in a while, you could hear grunts…Grunts, you may ask? You see, the weightlifters of Pahalwanpur were huffing and puffing as they carried the King and the Queen on their backs; they had killed too many horses between them while on their world tour.

A problem arose the minute they reached Kingdom Size Zero. The gate was too small, they just couldn’t enter! Finally, the Senapati ran and asked His Majesty to step outside. King and Queen were furious! Was Size Zero trying to crack a joke at their expense?

Just when they were about to leave, they heard a whiny little voice call out, “Welcome to our Kingdom. We apologize for our gate, we just didn’t have the time to construct a new one. We hope you will come with us to the special shamiana we have created for you. The King and Queen of Motuland were gracious; you had to give them that. They nodded at their weightlifters who carried them to a beautiful shamiana. They placed the King and Queen on the throne and bowed.

Raja Mooli SaPatla clapped and immediately, anorexic men and women came in bearing platters of salad, low fat soy milk and assorted herbs and bonsai fruits grown in their Bonsai Garden.

The King and the Queen had imagined sitting in a huge dining hall munching on Kachori, Jalebi, Pedas, Samosas, Pizza and Cheese Toast while the cook prepared the lunch, but all they got were plants, that too raw; the least they could do is deep fry them till crispy brown. The Blasphemy!

They got up and started marching angrily towards the weightlifters. Raja Mooli SaPatla sent his men behind the angry giants.

When they finally stopped, Raja Mooli SaPatla said, “You are behaving childishly. We are here to discuss a grave problem but I guess you are too fatheaded to understand that.”

“Did you just call me fat?” Raja Gol As Aloo roared.

“Maybe he did. What happened? Your FAT head cannot figure it out” Rani Sexy Celery sneered.

“How dare you…” Rani Meethi Gulabjamun started.

And then suddenly, walked in the most dazzling human being both Rajas had ever laid their eyes on. He was neither thin, nor fat; in fact he was just right.

“Who are you?” Raja Mooli SaPatla demanded “And who gave you the permission to enter this shamiana? We have a private conference here.”

“I am Raja Tandrust, I am your neighbor separated by the mountains you have on the northern side of your kingdom. I’ve read a rather disturbing report about the children here. Is it true?”

“Why should we tell you?” Raja Gol As Aloo demanded. “For all we know you are our enemy”

“Papa, what is an enemy?” asked a beautiful child who had just run inside the shamiana.

“Who is that?” both the kings demanded as they stared at the most glorious looking child they had ever seen in their lives. He was running! RUNNING!!! None of the children in their kingdoms could run; they could just barely walk.

“He is my son”, Raja Tandrust said smiling.

The four of them were astounded, how a child could be so happy. Their children were always complaining of some or the other aches and pains.

Raja Mooli SaPatla made a quick decision and decided to invite this strange king. “Please have a seat and let’s discuss what you wanted to talk about.” He said and the three of them with the Queens went inside.

“My kingdom is known as the healthiest in the world.” Raja Tandrust got straight to the point “and it is our mission to ensure that every man, woman and child in our world is healthy. Now, I’ve been studying the health patterns of the children in both your kingdoms and I am shocked at the result. The children of Size Zero are malnourished…?”

“Malnourished”, laughed Rani Meethi Gulab Jamun “I told you to feed your children more Celery!”

“With all due respect Your Majesty, the children of your kingdom are obese and that is not something to be proud of either. I’ve made a list of problems which I have seen in both your kingdoms.

The malnourished children have lower immunity and this sharply increases their mortality rate.

Obese and overweight children don’t have any physical activity and they will face heart problems, high cholesterol and diabetes in the future.

The children of both your kingdoms don’t play. They are obsessed with modern technology and they rather play virtual games than run out in the open and because of this, their body lacks Vitamin D which in turn leads to weak bones and teeth.

Thanks to rapid industrialization, our environment is not what it used to be and this makes our children susceptible to various diseases. If they don’t eat healthy, how can their bodies build up the immunity to fight?”

All four of them stared at Raja Tandrust, open mouthed. He had just listed out all the problems they were planning to discuss today. This man had really done his homework.

“Would you like me to give the solutions that I’ve prepared in consultation with my ministers?”

They all nodded eagerly.

“First of all, ensure that your children eat three balanced meals a day. Breakfast is a meal that they cannot absolutely miss. Remember this quote, Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.

They need to be given vaccinations at regular intervals. Here is the vaccination chart” he said rolling it out in front of the Kings and the Queens.

“Moreover, I’ve realized that many people cannot afford these expensive vaccinations. That is why; you must make a provision for free vaccination and medical facilities for them. Pregnant women should be given free food so that the child in their womb is healthy. After pregnancy, nutritious food should be made available for both the mother and the child till he or she is at least 5 years old.

Provide an incentive to be in school, provide them sumptuous yet nutritious Mid day meals. A child whose stomach is full will pay more attention to his teachers. The things he will learn in school will give him some food for thought and he will develop a healthy mind.

Ensure that there are clean toilets for all the people in your kingdom. The underdeveloped part of your kingdom resort to open defecation, which leads to a number of diseases like diarrhoea, typhoid etc.

Then children need to exercise, they need to go out in the sun and play to their hearts content. For one hour daily let them roam freely.

And while you should fulfill all the needs of your children; you musn’t forget that you are a parent. You must not give in to their outrageous demands. Exercise discretion before you buy extravagant presents for them.”

“What is this healthy food business. Are you trying to say I should make my Golu eat ghaas phoos?” demanded Rani Meethi Gulab Jamun.

“Yes” replied Raja Tandrust

“And that I should say a no to Chutki when she asks for a Smartphone and send her out in the sun so that she becomes tanned” asked Raja Mooli SaPatla

“Again. Yes”, said Raja Tandrust

“What nonsense is this!” Raja Gol As Aloo boomed. “You want our children to be unhappy?”

“Look at my child”, said Raja Tandrust pointing out to Bheem “Does he look unhappy? He gets upset when I refuse something, which I don’t think is appropriate for him or when I don’t let him eat what he wants, but he is a happy healthy child. Children are our future and every day, every minute, their body is fighting millions of germs, bacteria and our harsh environment. If we want to give them a good chance at survival and a long life, we need to ensure that they are well nourished and strong from within.”

“He is right.” Rani Meethi Gulab Jamun after much deliberation “Motuland is going to follow his directives.”

“I agree”, Rani Sexy Celery nodded her approval and both the Kings had no option but to nod their heads in agreement.

After a healthy lunch, provided by Raja Tandrust’s cook of course, he decided to leave.

“I have one request, change the names of your kingdom. They are too negative.”

“Agreed” said Raja Mooli SaPatla “But we want you to name our kingdoms. You are after all the person who saved our children’s future”

Raja Tandrust whispered something and rode away.

The End?

Wait a minute! What was the name he suggested for the kingdoms? India, of course and after following Raja Tandrust’s advice, it became famous far and wide as “Immune India- The Land of the Healthiest children in the world”.

And they lived happily ever after! J

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