“Ouch that hurts, don’t do it again or you will pay for it. My CPU is sensitive, all right” said someone in clipped tones one evening as Meenakshi kicked her computer in frustration. It was up to mischief again and Meenakshi was exasperated.
“Oh no! you are not dreaming. You humans are so predictable; every time any one of my dear friends decides to chat with you, you think that you are dreaming”.
“But… You are a computer” she finally managed to sputter.
“So what?”, the computer said, “I even have facial I am sorry monitorial expressions.” And sure enough the numbers on the screen rearranged themselves into a smirk. The screen then swiveled slightly and said, “Ok Mr. Mouse you can go to stretch your legs.” And before she knew what was happening the mouse sprang to life and scuttled off. “He… er the mouse can walk,” Meenakshi voice trailed off.
“Of course you dimwit”, the monitor said.
“But how will I work. I have to submit my assignment tomorrow”, Meenakshi almost wailed.
“Too bad and yes”, the screen flashed alarmingly, “young lady speak to me politely, I am much senior than you. Don’t they teach you to be respectful to elders anymore?”
“Sorry Mr. Computer….” she began.
“Excuse me”, the computer said coldly, “it’s Ms. Nerry”
“Nerry?”, said Meenakshi aloud, and just managed to pass off her snigger as cough. “Can’t computers have a name?” “
Yes of course…”she replied hastily.“Anyway Ms. Err..Nerry the point is I need to complete my assignment. So could we get back to normal?” asked Meenakshi.
“Why, I warned you, didn’t I, not to hit me, but did. So this is your punishment.” Ms. Nerry said her eyes flashing with anger. (Even though they were made up of 0’s and 1’s, they still looked menacing)
“But…OK Sorry”, apologized Meenakshi, trying to sound sincere.
And the minute she made that false apology, the numbers on Ms. Nerry’s face suddenly changed into angry lines.
“I am really sorry…”
“
Wait a minute you think you can get away by just saying sorry. After all the atrocities I have had to face. I think I should sue you.”
“Sue me”, Meenakshi exclaimed, “For what?”.
“Umm let’s see”, a thoughtful expression came on its monitor. And with no warning it changed into a scowl.” I’ll tell you what you did” and her voice rose several decibels. “You remember what you did on 20th January at 11.59p.m.?”
“Er… no I don’t” Meenakshi spoke with cation.
“Well I’ll tell you, I had a severe bout of cold. But you wanted to play some awful game on the net and you just ignored the anti-virus warning”
“But how awas I supposed to know that, I am not a mechanic or some computer engineer”, she asked.
“But that Antivirus did give you a warning didn’t he? He flashed three times at least about a virus. Don’t you know that virus can cause cold, flu and viral fever? Thank god, my mother had the presence of mind that…”
“You even have a mother”, Meenakshi chortled.
“Yes, the motherboard is my momma, got a problem? Anyway, moving on, as a punishment for insulting my mom and also for neglecting my health, I am going to delete that game you were playing”, Ms. Nerry said viciously. And right in front Meenakshi’s my eyes, she deleted the game, which she had painstakingly downloaded from the internet.
“And then I haven’t told you about all my cleanliness issues. You never clean me. I remember quite distinctly, the last time you cleaned me was about four weeks ago. Yeah, on 10th March at 1:38 p.m. You think that I look particularly beautiful covered with dust. The other day when your friend came over with that handsome laptop, I was so ashamed at looking so dowdy. You should have seen the disdainful and pitying look he was giving me”
And all of a sudden Meenakshi heard a whirring noise, Clank, Clunk, Clunk. “My printer, what happened to it?” she cried out aghast “What did you do to it?” she asked angrily
“Nothing actually, just passed some extra current through it”, Ms. Nerry said maliciously. “Anyway, I haven’t even started on your kicking and all that flogging I have to put up with. On the last count you had kicked me 1,148 times and you had slapped the monitor 1,586 times and that’s not counting whatever domestic violence I had to put up with it today. Just thank god that I didn’t complain in Prevention of cruelty towards computers (PCTC). Then you would have really had it”
And at that moment Ginger, Meenakshi’s cat entered the room chasing her mouse, i.e. her computer’s mouse. She could just stare in horror as he chewed its tail err…its wire. Meenakshi simply sank down in the chair, utterly exhausted by this horrendous experience. She rubbed her eyes still hoping that this would turn out to be a bad dream. But no, that screen was still staring at her with a sullen look.
“So was this lesson enough. Are you ready to gracefully accept your mistake, young lady?” Ms. Nerry asked,
“ Yes, I do”, Meenakshi jumped up delighted by the computer’s sudden change of heart.
“Hey, wait a minute not so fast, first you have to sign an agreement.”
“All right, anything, I agree to anything you say”. she exclaimed.
“First of all, you will clean me everyday with a nice soft cloth. Second, you will get rid of your useless folders like “how to learn Chinese in 30 days”, “understanding basketball rules” and all that rubbish that you will never learn. Third, you are not going to manhandle or machine handle me. You are going to treat all my siblings i.e. RAM, CD drive, speakers, and headphone respectfully. Agreed?”
“Agreed” Meenakshi almost shouted with joy. And then, within seconds her computer screen became normal. She happily sat down to get some printouts from the printer… which was still functioning quite smoothly. So was she just dreaming? Was she? Her eyes hovered to the mouse’s wire with bite marks. She smiled to herself, learning an important lesson; Never ever take your computer for granted. It is your best friend but it can just as soon become your bitter enemy.
I am a 25 year old blogger who believes in the power of story telling and using personal experiences to blog about things close to my heart. I started Munni of all Trades 4 years back to share my ideas, thoughts and views on things that I am passionate about. I blog about things that make me happy and by extension my readers, too..
wow u just made me realize all the torture my lappie and PC had been facing all these days. My machines face the same issue. Now lets c if i can manage cleaning them regularly.
Keep posting.
really sweet post 🙂 keep blogging … the writing made me to visualize things and that is one heck of a job done
do visit mine http://krishnankalyan.blogspot.in/